Meet Average Andy

Have you met Average Andy?  

Or is it possible that Average Andy is...YOU??

Hi, my name is Average Andy and I am a hard-working, middle-class, Christian man.  I have worked in mostly blue collar and some white collar jobs like teaching, coaching, counseling or running small businesses. I am a husband and my wife and I have 3 kids that range in age from elementary age through college.  I take my faith seriously and my family and I attend church regularly. I am about 40 years old and make between $65,000-$85,000 per year in total family income - which includes money my wife makes in her part-time business or her outside-the-home career.

 My biggest wants?

• I would like to have more control over my time and better balance in my work and personal life.
• I would like better relationships with my wife and kids.
• I would like better skills to help raise my kids and better ideas on how to teach them to grow in their faith.
• I would like more victory over private sins and battles inside of me that have kept me down or keep defeating me time and time again.  These frustrate me so much but I can’t seem to shake them for good.
• I would like more purpose and meaning in my day-to-day, everyday life.
• I would like a deeper connection with Christ and would like to know more practical ways to live out my faith.
• I would like to have a better understanding of financial concepts and money management skills and ideas.
• I would like more tools and tips to get back to a life that feels adventurous, fun, and exciting again.
• I would like more accountability with other men and to have true, meaningful friendships with other guys like me.

My biggest problems?

• I feel overwhelmed by the pace of my life.
• I’m discouraged by financial pressures and burdens and never seem to have enough money to do all the things that I wish I could do for my family.
• I feel stuck and unsure if there’s a way out or a way forward sometimes.
• I feel like my marriage has lost that spark of excitement and now it’s pretty tame, boring, and is (if I’m being honest) starting to feel “old”. 
• I am physically out of shape, overweight, tired, and achy - and this bothers me.
• I continually make excuses for why I’m not where I should be and why I’m not further ahead than I am at this point in my life.
• When I compare myself to others, I feel like I’m behind and like I don’t quite measure up to where other, more successful men are at.
• I get easily angered at simple things like traffic, my kids, my wife, and I’m not sure why or where that comes from.
• If you ask me how I’m doing, I’ll say, “I’m fine.  Doing great!”.  But inside, I know that’s not completely true.  I just don’t really want to talk about it or deal with how I really feel.
• I often dread Mondays and having to do this all over again next week.
• I feel alone in my internal thoughts and wonder if anyone really knows me or if anyone would ever want to know me if they knew who I really was.
• I feel like a poser, a fraud, and a fake much of the time.
• Most days I go to bed exhausted - both mentally and physically.
• I struggle to get ahead financially and feel like we’ll never have enough to retire comfortably.
• My sex life is less than it once was and it feels mundane, average, and like the same routine over and over again.  I’d like to spice it up but don’t know how to bring this up to my wife and I wonder if she’d just turn me down or brush me off.
• My spiritual life is good - but I wouldn’t say it’s great and I don’t really know what that would look like if it was.
• My past failures, mistakes, and regrets weigh heavily on me at times.
• I am consumed with busyness:  sports, hobbies, or just getting kids from one place to the next.
• I am constantly and mindlessly scrolling through my phone just like everyone else in my family.
• We rarely, if ever, do family devotions or spend time in conversations or spend time together without devices.
• I feel like I don’t have enough time to do things I’d like to do and I feel guilty for feeling that way or guilty when I actually do things that I want to do.
• I am distracted easily and my mind wanders when I’m at home.  I’m rarely fully present with anything or anyone.
• I don’t have many - or any - men in my life who really know me 100%. 
• Most days I feel like I’m coasting through life or I’m completely checked out and too tired to engage with my wife or kids.
• I am constantly saying, “I’m too busy to do that!”
• I don’t exercise, read books, sit in silence, or pray regularly because “there’s just not enough hours in the day!”
• I feel a deep, unsettled feeling when I do reflect or have time to myself and I know that there has to be more to life than what I’m currently living.  At the same time, I don’t know what to do with that feeling or what to do to change any of it.
• I’m afraid of failing or appearing to fail and I get embarrassed when it feels like my failures are made public and the whole world is laughing at me.
• I’d say its not, but if you looked at the way I spend my time, you’d see that my main focus is really on getting ahead financially and advancing in my career.
• I have a problem with lust and cheating with my eyes - whether that’s porn, looking at every pretty woman that walks by, or clicking on “soft” sites with attractive looking women as the click-bait.
• I’m mentally tired.  I don’t feel like I have much energy to offer to others.
• I sometimes contemplate suicide - or just fantasize what it would be like to just be gone and start it all over or just be done living this life that is so exhausting.
• I know God loves me - but I’m not really sure if He likes me or why He would.

If some (or all) of this resonates with you then it's time to fight!  You're definitely NOT alone!  Join The Fight Club and get refueled and refreshed as you fight to be the man God meant for you to be!