Break Bad Habits

Build Better Ones

Become Better Men

 - Nate Whitson -

A lot of men I talk to feel stuck—like they’ve lost the drive to do the things they know should matter most.

What I often hear are sentiments like this:

"I really do want to change, and it's not like I don't KNOW what to do.  I just can't seem to get myself to do it."

Maybe you can relate.

If so, you're not alone.

The topic of motivation is one that often comes up because it's such a common pitfall for men.

We want to change and grow and be better husbands, fathers, and followers of Jesus - but we just don't know how or what to do.

This is where the conversation often turns to WILLPOWER.

Willpower is the internal energy that we have (or don't have) to do the hard, right things we know we need to do.

The problem with willpower, however, is that it's an exhaustible power.

It's here one minute and gone the next.

You've probably found yourself discouraged by your lack of willpower many times over the years.  I know I have!

• You want to exercise and get in shape, but you don't.
• You want to stop responding in anger but can't seem to figure out how.
• You want to get up early to get in God's Word, but you never do.

Willpower is rarely the answer.

Instead, here's what I think you should consider if you're trying to find power to change and willpower has let you down.

Change your environment first.

Don’t blame yourself when willpower fails, and definitely stop listening to people who say you just have to "want it more."

Nonsense.

If that's all it took, then all of us would be living life like we ought to live.

Instead, what I suggest you do is to start designing your environments intentionally.

Look for opportunities to make small changes that make the right choices easier and the wrong choices harder.

Read that sentence again because it's key that you get this if you're serious about changing.

Here's a bunch of ideas that might help:

• • Delete social media apps from your phone—or at least off your home screen.

  • Use website blockers like Covenant Eyes on all of your devices.

  • Charge your phone across the room or in the kitchen to avoid scrolling in bed.

  • Keep a physical Bible by your bed, so the first thing you reach for isn’t your phone.

  • Set your Bible or journal on your pillow before you leave for work so you remember to read it or write in it before bed.

  • Set recurring reminders on your phone to pray—name them things like “Get In The Fight” or “Talk to God.”

  • Use a sticky note on your mirror with a verse you’re memorizing.

  • Create a go-to prayer list in your Notes app for consistency in prayer.

  • Put your water bottle on your desk or nightstand—you’re more likely to drink more water if you do.

  • Keep workout clothes by your bed so you don't wuss out when you're tired in the morning.

  • Pre-cook your meals or snacks so you don’t grab junk when hungry or spend money you can't afford.

  • Use smaller plates to control portions and eat more mindfully. 

  • Schedule a repeating weekly reminder to text or encourage your wife during the day and let her know you're thinking of her and praying for her.

  • Put a sticky note on your steering wheel with something kind to say to your kids after school.

  • Keep a list of thoughtful date ideas in your phone—ready when you are, and you don't have to be lame and say you don't know what to do.

  • Leave your journal open on your desk so it invites you to write.

  • Lay out your clothes for the next day to avoid decision fatigue.

  • Set timers for tasks you know you need to do but keep putting off.

  • Use this free, super small, and simple system to help you make these stick.

The bottom line is this:

Willpower is weak. What you need to do if you're serious about change is this:  Change your environment!

If you do, it will change your life.

Nate

----------------👇🏻 👇🏻 ------------------                                                        

P.S. 

Do you find yourself wanting to change but lacking the power to do it?

If so, maybe what you need to do is stop relying on willpower to do the trick.

Instead, check out some of the tips and tricks above and see if the missing ingredient in your life is actually about changing your environment first.

Or check out this course I created to help me find the power to change.

The key is this:  Make it easier to do what's right and harder to do what's wrong!