Better Husbands

Better Fathers

Better Followers of Jesus

Better Men

 - Nate Whitson -

What was your home like growing up as a kid?

Did you love being there?

Was it a warm, safe place?

Was it fun and happy?

Or was your home a trainwreck, a nightmare, or a place you'd rather not return to?

I had a mix of both.

My home was Christian, loving, and fun.  But it also felt like walking on eggshells at times and wasn't always a happy, or easy place to be.

I began to reflect on that recently and started to evaluate my own home and the environment that I've helped create for my kids.

Like a lot of dads who realize that their kids are growing up fast and won't be with you much longer, I've started to ask these questions in the hopes in getting it right or doing my best to do so.

Here's a couple of questions that I'm wrestling with that may help you as well:

"If I were my child, would I love living in this home?"

Or, another way of asking this might be:

"What would make this the kind of home I’d love to be in if I were a kid growing up here?"

Asking these questions has been helpful for me because they do two things, in particular:

• See life through the lens of my child
• Picture what I would have loved as a child 

Both perspectives help me to visualize and feel what an ideal home would look like.  It helps me to slow down and realize that many of the things that I do that drive my kids nuts (like nagging them about cleaning up the house nonstop!) would drive me nuts if I were them too.

If my long-term goal as their dad is to have long-term influence in their lives, then I've got to do whatever it takes to make them like to be around me and want to be near me.

To do that, I can try to make their home life the best that it can be.  

Does this mean that I let them get away with everything, never discipline them or get after them, or let them walk all over me and my wife?

No.  Of course not.

But it does mean that when they grow up, and someone asks what life was like for them as kids, they'll be more likely to say:

"It was great!  We had fun together, loved to be together, and learned to love Jesus and family together.  I wouldn't change a thing!"

Will this be the story they tell?

I don't know. 

But I'll do whatever it takes while I still have the chance to shoot for that goal!

I think you should too.

Nate

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P.S. 

What words would you use to describe what it was like to grow up as a kid in your home or family?

Was it happy?  Sad?  Fun?  Terrible?

Maybe more importantly, if you're a dad (or will be one someday), what's your plan to make your home the best it can be for your kids?

Email me and let me know or share with me your biggest regrets or lessons learned so far.   📧 [email protected]