Break Bad Habits

Build Better Ones

Become Better Men

 - Nate Whitson -

I've got all kinds of bad habits and behaviors!

Here's just a few I can think of off the top of my head:

• I chew my fingernails and haven't been able to shake this habit ever! It's so annoying!
• I used to look at porn several times each year (most years, anyway) and couldn't make myself permanently kick this terrible habit. UGH!!  
• I get easily frustrated when I'm driving and often want to throat-punch other drivers who clearly have no idea how to drive! 

I bet you've got a few, too!

Some of the more common ones today might be...

• Cursing, swearing, and telling dirty jokes when you're with the fellas.
• Scrolling through your phone at night when you get home from work and not engaging with your family like you should be.
• Skipping the gym and not exercising because you don't feel like it.
• Not putting your dirty clothes in the laundry basket and being a total slob at home despite your wife's best efforts to get you to change.

My point:  We all have habits and behaviors that we need to change.  The question is...how?

James Clear, author of one of my all-time favorite books, Atomic Habits, says this filter of four things can dramatically help you to stop bad behaviors.

Here's what he suggests:

Make them invisible, unattractive, difficult, and unsatisfying.

Here's how that might work if quitting porn for good is your vice.

Invisible:  Get software like Covenant Eyes on your phone and every other device in your home so that you simply cannot access it and see it.

Unattractive:  Imagine that other people were gawking and getting off watching someone that you cared about.  Or, imagine that the someone you're lusting after is actually a real human being and is cared for deeply by her family.  That's she's not just an object to be used and abused like you're currently doing.  It's unattractive when you realize that the person on your computer is somebody else's daughter or sister who is deeply loved and their lifestyle is breaking their heart.

Difficult:  Similar to getting porn blockers on your devices, you may need to find other ways to make this bad habit and behavior harder to access.  Maybe that's locking up your phone somehow from 8:00 PM until 6:00 AM the next morning. Or, blocking internet access to the house between those hours.  Make it as difficult as you can to not even be able to get to it.

Unsatisfying:  Make a commitment that you will tell your accountability brother within 5 minutes of failing and watching that junk again and tell him the titles of the porn videos you chose to watch.  Yuck!  That might do the trick.

Now, porn may not be your problem.  I hope it's not!  (There's help here if it happens to be.)  But what is it for you?

What bad habit or behavior is needing the most attention today from you today?

My suggestion is to pick one and then go through this same exercise.

Come up with as many ways as you can think of for each of these four filters (or use ChatGPT to help you brainstorm for ideas).

If you are REALLY serious about changing and being a better man - then take your bad habit and make it invisible, unattractive, difficult, and unsatisfying.

You just might find that you really can change and be more of the man God meant for you to be!

Nate

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P.S.

What area of your life are you most interested in changing or growing in?

How can you make these behaviors invisible, unattractive, difficult, or unsatisying?

Reply and let me know!  I'd love to hear.

Want help to change ANY area of your life that you've struggled to change?  Click here.